Marriage has got to be one of the touchiest topics today. “Marry me” might as well be “Give up your life” to lots of people. More and more it seems that this is truly the me generation. That is, we only care about number one; ourselves. What does anyone want in life? The answer used to be happiness, but maybe now it’s a masters and a Mercedes. Lots of things now come before relationships; schooling, careers, and egos, to name a few. No longer is sacrifice the cornerstone of a successful relationship, now its good sex. Yes, i fear that love had its turn and now only exists in black and white movies. Especially in the younger age group, all lots of people want is sex and a good facade they call a couple. What is a relationship anymore? There are plenty of kinds; the few serious ones, the friends with benefits, and, my favorite, the hookup. Hookups are like prostitution but without any money exchanged. Two people meet up, screw each other’s brains out, and brag about it to there friends the next day, never to see each other again. From Casa Blanca to American Pie; how far we’ve come.
The problem with relationships is the aforementioned priority concern. Relationships can be hell on making something of yourself in a world where a bachelor’s degree is the new high school diploma. People have their priorities straight, at least to themselves. An English teacher of mine once told me, en-scotched in her lifetime of wisdom; “Career first, women second” to which i replied with a laugh, only to receive a fierce rebottle. Apparently, love has no meaning at UC, Harvard, or even our high schools, other than in Shakespeare, of course. Sure, you’ll see the occasional cute couple, but the majority of people are nymphomaniacs, or something close to it. Use a person like a porno mag, then throw them away. Hey, now that’s efficient! No baggage, just use protection and you’re on your way to that glorious degree.
To these people who just want to “fool around” i’d like to ask “How the hell do you think you got here?” Sure, some of us are no doubt the product of a cheap condom, but many of us came from happily married parents. At least, happily married for a time. Divorce rates are so high that a kid with married parents is something odd. What happened? Did people just lose their copies of “Marriage for Dummies”? No matter, with IVF (invetro fertilization), a method for pregnancy by which a woman need not meet a man to carry his child, marriage is no longer a prerequisite to having a family. Yes, happy single moms will be the parents of the future, having baby sitters raise their kids while they go out to hook up.
Even though relationships have changed, the god news is they come in all flavors now. Yes, no longer is sex only between a man and a woman (damn breeders), now anyone can screw anyone, or anything, they want. See, even though only men and women have the ability to reproduce (for now), which has kept us here for over 2000 years, that’s no longer the only option. Feeling awkward? Misled? Lost? Don’t worry, you’re just queer! Teenagers across the nation rejoice, if ever you shall feel lost, just come out of the closet! Screwing someone in a way that makes no anatomical sense is sure to set you right, clarifying who you are. Let me just ask this; has any teenager ever not felt lost? No. So, why does is follow then, that the answer is to do something that quite frankly still seems unnatural to me (trying to keep it PC here).
Whew! It’s been a rough ride. Love is now a warm place to screw anything that moves. But hey, at least we’re no longer tethered down by marriage. Hell, if you want to , you can still tie yourself down, you can even do it with a person of the same sex. So, to rap it up, relationships have only been diversified, and absolutely no morality has been lost. What’s not moral about making love in the bathroom? Or with someone you just met? Nothing. My advice to the next generation is to watch out for this marriage and love thing coming back, without all that BS we’re all free to get our BAs and screw, with no strings attached.
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